hmm

I've always thought that one of the most beautiful things on this earth is the human body. I mean, it's like this well oiled organic machine. It can adapt, evolve, change accordingly to the situation. It repairs itself for God's sake. You can train it, exercise it, maintain it, make it better. It's wonderful. Sometimes we just don't appreciate it because we're enjoying the ride.

On the same token, I think the human spirit is like one of the worst and weakest things on this earth. It doesn't adapt or anything. It perseveres not because it wants to survive, but only because it can not truly be destroyed. Heartbreak, sadness, loss, sometimes really petty things can put a chink in our armor and carry us to the pits of our stomach. I mean, the weakness of the human spirit can cause you mental or emotional anguish, but even physical pain, literal heaviness of the heart. It's so ridiculous.

In short, I think I'm battling a mild depression. And it really really really bothers the hell out of me. It's rooted in my pessimism and fatalistic attitude about life. I feel like I'm carrying on this life, passing days aimlessly. Each time, I seem to get what I want out of life, I feel like it's not enough and I need something more. Nothing can satisfy me it seems.

I hate typing it out on this journal because it seems like the only time stuff gets written is when something terrible happens. And somehow I might feel comfort from some random anonymous reader possibly empathizing with this post. God Livejournal is so dumb. All it does is permanize my most depressing thoughts. I feel like I'm wallowing in textual self misery. This wasn't even cathartic. It just makes me feel worse.

The end.